


California Beaches

by lipsstainedbloodred



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Archived From Tumblr, Beach fic, Facing Fears, Family, Fluff, M/M, archived from cigarettesmokeandexyracquets blog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 10:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17041730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lipsstainedbloodred/pseuds/lipsstainedbloodred
Summary: Neil couldn’t pretend that being on a beach again -even if it was hundreds of miles from the sandy shore where he’d buried his mother- wasn’t unsettling and surreal





	California Beaches

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted Mar. 9, 2018 on cigarettesmokeandexyracquets

Neil couldn’t pretend that being on a beach again -even if it was hundreds of miles from the sandy shore where he’d buried his mother- wasn’t unsettling and surreal. “I want to try,” Neil had said the night before in his and Andrew’s hotel room. Now, without Andrew’s thumb rubbing soothing circles under his eye and Andrew’s steadfast gaze on his, Neil felt much less brave. He hesitated at the edge of the parking lot, his hand resting on a No Dogs Allowed sign that people blatantly ignored. 

“It was your idea,” Andrew said to his left, their bag of beach supplies thrown over his shoulder. He looked apathetic and impassive even as the salty breeze gently ruffled his hair, but underneath that even Andrew couldn’t pretend that being in California again didn’t bother him. Neil could see it in the hardness in his eyes and tense line of his shoulders. 

 _This was a mistake_ , Neil thought, dragging his bottom lip between his teeth.

Before Neil could change his mind and suggest going back to the hotel to spend the rest of the day wrapped up in their blankets and each other, Robin came tearing past them with an arm outstretched. “Neil!” She cried, “Let’s go!” Her fingers reached for his and he unthinkingly reached back, letting her pull him stumbling onto the white sandy beach. 

It was unreasonably cold for Southern California, just a day after Christmas besides, most of the beach was uncrowded. It had to be, for this to work. For Andrew to allow it. For Neil to try it. For Robin to be comfortable with it. Storm clouds rolled overhead, dark and uninviting, but none of them paid it any mind. Rain was rain, water was water, and they had a car and hotel rooms to go to if the sky decided to be unreasonable. Part of Neil hoped it did, just to give him an excuse to leave, but he wasn’t ashamed to admit he was spiteful and proud and would try to stay regardless.

Andrew dumped their bag on the ground, successfully getting sand all over it, and pulled out their towels and a blanket. He spread the blanket out over the ground and sat, arms tucked safe inside his hoodie and legs clothed in sweatpants crossed beneath him. Every inch of him was black and brooding. 

“You don’t want to swim?” Neil asked.

“It’s 60 degrees outside,” Andrew replied.

“Practically summer,” Robin said, unzipping her hoodie and letting it fall to the ground beside Andrew. Her swimsuit consisted of a long sleeve swim shirt and a pair of Andrew’s old swim trunks. It was similar to what Neil himself was wearing. She kicked off her sandals and made a beeline straight for the water, stopping momentarily at the edge of the ocean and bending down to pick up sea shells.

“Are you going to be okay over here by yourself?” Neil asked, crouching down next to Andrew.

Andrew huffed out a breath, “Go watch the child.”

“We don’t have to do this,” Neil said, giving Andrew -and by proxy, himself- one last way out.

Andrew reached out and caught a handful of Neil’s jacket, finally looking him in the eye. He looked resolute. “Keep an eye on Robin,” Andrew said, “I don’t like repeating myself.”

Neil nodded, accepting the rebuke and let Andrew shove him gently away. He pulled off his hoodie and dropped it in Andrew’s lap, just to hear Andrew’s growl of annoyance, and kicked his shoes off to the side before following after Robin.

“Oh god,” Robin groaned, letting the water lap at her knees, “Why is it so cold?”

“It’s December,” Neil said.

“We’re going to be popsicles,” Robin said, “ugh, okay, better to just get it over with.” She stepped in further, letting the waves carry her, and ducked under the water. She came back up sputtering, “Oh, god, no this was such a bad idea. Abort mission.”

Neil startled into a laugh, the happiness hooking him in the gut like a stomach punch. He’d miss her, he realized suddenly, once this year was over. “Well we’re already wet,” Neil said, “we might as well stay in the water. It’ll just feel colder if we get out.”

“You’re only half wet,” Robin complained, “Come on Captain.”

Neil dutifully ducked under the water, coming up with goosebumps and chattering teeth. He clenched his jaw to hide it and splashed a handful of water in Robin’s direction.

She crowed indignantly and splashed him back, starting an all-out war of a water fight, ending with Neil coughing up water and Robin laughing so hard she had to sit down at the edge of the water.

“What the hell are you doing?” Snapped a voice behind them. 

Neil looked up to see Kevin’s disapproving scowl and crossed arms. Behind him were Jeremy, looking delighted, and Jean, looking somber. Neil raised a hand in acknowledgement at the other two before letting his fingers fall down into a rude gesture at Kevin. 

“You’re going to get pneumonia,” Kevin said, “You need to go dry off right now.”

Robin looked at Neil before echoing his gesture at Kevin adding her own flair by sticking her tongue out at him. 

Kevin glared at the two of them before stomping off toward Andrew, presumably to go bother him about the ice cream cone Andrew looked to have recently acquired. Neil noticed that Renee must have shown up while he and Robin were swimming, she was sitting on the same blanket as Andrew, holding an ice cream cone of her own.

“While I admire your dedication to beach activities,” Jeremy said once Kevin had stormed off, “I agree with Kevin. Dan and Matt should be here soon and we can play some beach volleyball.”

The temptation of a game, even if it wasn’t exy, was too strong to ignore. Neil stood and tried and failed to brush the sand off his hands onto his shorts. “Sure,” Neil said, “Where’s Allison?”

“Parking,” Jean said, “She’ll be here shortly.”

Neil nodded and trudged, water logged, to where Andrew, Renee, and Kevin were gathered. Andrew threw Neil’s towel at his face and Neil accepted it gratefully. “Hey,” He said, poking Andrew’s thigh with his foot.

Andrew swatted at him irritably, “Pest.”

“Oh gross, they’re flirting,” Robin said, drying her hair with her own towel. 

Andrew shoved their bag at them, “Go get changed. You look like drowned rats.”

Neil took the bag and dug out his clothes before handing the bag to Robin. He set off for the changing rooms, showering the ocean water out of his hair and making a futile attempt at getting the sand off his feet, before changing into his dry clothes. He shrugged on Andrew’s old Foxes long sleeve and a pair of black basketball shorts before heading back out to his group. Robin wasn’t far behind in her USC hoodie pilfered from Kevin and grey leggings she’d knicked from Katelyn. 

Their group had gathered in the amount of time it took Neil and Robin to change. Jean and Jeremy had stayed out by the shoreline, Jeremy bending down to collect sea shells and handing them to Jean for safe keeping. Another blanket had been spread out next to Andrew’s, brown as dirt and frayed from years of use. Dan and Allison were sitting in the middle of it, Dan rubbing sun screen onto Allison’s shoulders. Matt had sprawled out on the ground next to them. Kevin was talking Andrew’s ear off about some new book he was reading about the spread of disease in Medieval Europe and Andrew seemed to be tolerating it with long suffering grace. 

Renee waved at Robin and Neil, Robin dropping down on the blanket next to her with a little huff. Renee smiled and dipped her ice cream down to smear over the tip of Robin’s nose making her squeak and rub vigorously at her nose. Neil laughed, drawing the attention of Matt and Dan.

“Neil!” Matt cried happily, “Hell of a time you picked to visit California, dude.”

“It’s not that cold,” Neil said.

“Cold enough,” Dan said, smoothing her hand along the back of Allison’s neck.

“You didn’t have to come.”

“You would have cried if we hadn’t,” Allison said, “Now come here and let Dan put sunscreen on you.”

“It’s not even sunny out,” Neil complained.

“Exactly,” Allison said, snapping her fingers, “You can get an even worse sunburn when it’s cloudy out, now get over here. You too munchkin,” She directed at Robin.

Robin blew a raspberry in Allison’s general direction. Renee chided her gently before whispering something to Andrew. Andrew sighed and dug around in their bag for a moment before digging out a bottle and throwing it at Neil. 

Neil looked down at it and then back at Andrew, “If I have to put it on then so do you.”

“I did before we left the hotel,” Andrew said, “because I’m not an idiot.”

Neil rolled his eyes and soothed sunscreen over his legs and hands and his face before tossing the bottle to Robin who sighed heavily but did the same. “I was promised volleyball,” Neil said once he was finished.

Matt hopped up and tossed a ball at Neil, “Yeah man! You, Jean, Kevin, and Jeremy, versus Me, Allison, Dan, and Robin.”

“This will end poorly,” Andrew said.

“You don’t want to play?” Neil asked.

Andrew gave his answer in the form of a flat look and Neil shrugged.

“Don’t worry,” Renee said, “I’ll keep him company.”

“Okay,” Neil said, “Have fun.”

Andrew toasted him with his ice cream cone and Neil walked away, Kevin immediately trailing behind him to give tips on the best kinds of serves for beach volleyball. Neil tuned him out a few words in, thinking instead of the safety he now felt with his family beside him. 

“Hey,” Matt said, cutting Kevin off and waving a hand in Neil’s face, “You good?”

“Yeah,” Neil said, “I’m fine.”

Matt grinned, “Never change, Josten. We’ll let your team serve first, you’ll need all the help you can get.”

“You’re gonna eat those words Boyd,” Jeremy said with a grin.

They played two games, the girls and Matt winning the first and Neil, Kevin, Jean, and Jeremy winning the second. Kevin demanded a tie breaker that everyone neatly ignored, heading back to their blankets to pull out sandwiches and beer cans from their cooler. 

Neil took his seat by Andrew, still flushed and breathing hard from their game. He pushed his bangs off of his forehead, turning to look at Andrew to find Andrew already staring at him. “What?” Neil asked.

“You’re so out of shape,” Andrew said, “You’re already breathing heavy.” Neil stuck out his tongue and Andrew flicked his shoulder. “Put that away or I’m going to cut it off.”

“No you won’t,” Neil said, “You like my tongue too much.”

“Incorrect,” Andrew said, “I hate everything about you.”

Neil made a sound like a buzzer going off, “Oh, sorry, wrong answer. Would you like to play again?”

Andrew rolled his eyes but didn’t shove Neil away, instead choosing to allow Neil to sit closer, their thighs pressed warmly together between them. Neil darted in to press a quick kiss to the side of Andrew’s throat, making him hiss and rub his neck trying to rub away something sticky.

“Don’t poke the bear, Neil,” Robin called from her spot next to Kevin, stealing his beer to sip on.

“Andrew is quite obviously a twunk,” Neil replied.

“I hate you for saying that,” Robin said, making a face.

“Andrew is a bear cub,” Allison said, “Clearly.”

“I’m going to murder all of you,” Andrew said calmly.

“I don’t want to think about any of this,” Kevin said, trying to take his beer back from Robin and failing. He stole some of Jeremy’s soda instead, frowning because it wasn’t diet but drinking it anyway.

“We should get a bonfire going,” Dan said, “It’s getting colder, and the sun will start to go down soon.”

“No,” Neil blurted, jerking hard enough to make Andrew’s beer slosh out the side of the can.

Dan turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” Neil repeated, a little calmer this time. Andrew’s hand settled on the back of his neck, squeezing. “Fire is,” Neil gestured vaguely, “Tricky, for me. If you’re cold we can leave, go to the hotel or something.”

Dan looked at him quizzically for a moment before her mouth dropped into a small, “oh”. 

“Nah, it’s good,” Matt said, “Though I guess that means no s’mores.”

“S’mores are disgusting anyway,” Kevin said, “and awful for you.”

“You have no taste buds, you’re not allowed to have an opinion,” Matt said.

“We have flashlights,” Renee said, “We could tell ghost stories once the sun goes down.”

“No kidnappings,” Robin said, fingers twisted into the fabric of her hoodie.

“Of course not,” Renee assured.

Neil let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and Andrew smoothed a hand down his spine. 

“Okay?” Andrew asked quietly.

Neil hummed. “Yeah, for now,” He said, “It’s easier with everyone here, and with you.” He ignored Andrew’s scoff at that. “Are you?”

Andrew grunted noncommittally but rested his weight more fully against Neil’s side.  _Yes_ , the press of his body said,  _yes and yes and yes_. Neil smiled, hiding most of it in the rim of his beer can.

Neil settled, drinking his beer and watching Matt and Dan chase each other across the sand. Robin broke the tab off her beer can and made a game of flicking it back and forth with Jean. The sun sunk lower in the skin, sleepily, and cast long rays of pink and orange, dancing across the water. Neil closed his eyes and breathed in the salt of the arm and scent of cigarette smoke that clung to his and Andrew’s clothes.

 _This was a great idea_ , Neil thought. He felt the press of Andrew’s hand on his cheek, thumb against his scars so fleeting he almost thought he’d dreamed it. He opened his eyes to meet Andrew’s, calm and steady as the ocean before them. The tenseness in his shoulders had melted into something smoother, the hardness in his eyes softened to something that belonged only to them.

“Hey,” Neil whispered.

Allison was braiding Renee’s hair just a few feet away. Matt had caught Dan and was swinging her, her screams of laughter carried on the wind like music. Jeremy was listening to Kevin’s latest rant on medieval politics while stringing the sea shells he’d picked up into a necklace. They were safe.  _Neil_  was safe.

Andrew cupped Neil’s jaw with his hand, eyes flickering down to Neil’s lips and back up.

“Yes,” Neil whispered.

Andrew leaned down to kiss him soundly, Neil sighing against Andrew’s mouth. Andrew kissed him firmly once, twice, then drew back, pressing a last parting kiss to the corner of Neil’s mouth. Three times, like an ellipses, a to-be-continued. 

“Gross,” Robin said thoughtfully, stirring Neil from his little trance. Neil glanced over at her, unamused. “It’s like watching your parents kiss,” Robin said.

“I wouldn’t know,” Andrew said dryly.

Neil sighed and drank the rest of his beer, tossing his trash with the rest of his family’s in a pile to throw away later. He watched the last of the sun set, Andrew’s hand sneaking down to rest on his thigh. All around him his family moved and talked and laughed, putting on jackets and pulling out flashlights and Neil’s heart throbbed in his chest. He wondered why he’d ever been afraid. Here, with his foxes, he was as far away from the ghost of his mother as he could get.

They settled in a circle, Robin throwing her legs across Neil’s and slumping against Allison’s side. She pressed her toes into Neil’s calf, drawing his attention. “Good?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Neil said, and Andrew’s hand tightened on his thigh, “Yeah, I actually am.”


End file.
